Archive for tesco

PAR/GROAN of the Week

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on May 28, 2010 by lyfeandlyrics


So yesterday I decided that due to us not having any fizzy pop in the cupboard and me having a severe craving for some Fizzy Drinkle in my system I decided to head to the shop to get a little something something to quench my thirst!!


So I headed to Tesco’s. I’d had a few problems with the chip on my card being very temperamental but took a chance at the self service. Went to the self service to with it said it couldn’t read my card. I called the assistant.
She rudely directed me to a standard checkout to which I was like “Cool, fine”. Got there to some absolute wazzocck who tried my card in the chip and pin? OBVIOUSLY this didn’t work and he took my card out… Looked at the pin and pointed at it then started rubbing it …… FRAUBASVIBADMICODABVIANERIUB AM I A F’CKING MIND READER WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?!?!?


I was cleared getting heated by this point. So said to him “What does this movement indicate” and he replied “Damage” so I said to him. Swipe it then!! Then the assistant manager came over and stuck her oar in! “He can’t actually do that you can’t override it” then the assistant said “It’s been overridden, can you sign here” SEE YOU LATER ASSISTANT MANAGER GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER!!

Anyways signed the receipt and the assistant then decided he wanted to check it 50 times. Then called Mother Moose the Assistant Manager who checked it and said that she can’t really allow him to accept it. WHAT??? I got my driving licence out and showed the dude my signature on there while the woman was still ranting. The dude accepted that it was me and put the transaction through saying it was fine.


However the woman continued to rant saying the signatures have to look similar. So I responded “If the signatures didn’t look similar then why did you let your colleague put the transaction through? If it did look similar then why are you here?” to which she said “DO YOU WANT TO LET ME FINISH SIR?!?!?” Wow!!

Luckily for her I left the shop. However if Tesco’s played Dubstep, Collie Buddz or Tempa T’s next hype that woman would have most probably been thrown right back to isle 18 by her ears!! Don’t ever talk down to me especially if you’re wrong!!



Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on May 11, 2010 by lyfeandlyrics



I went shopping yesterday to get some bits for dinner. I like to have everything I need when Im cooking up a storm so Im always in Sainsbury’s or Tesco’s grabbing the bits and pieces I need.


So I made my way to the checkout after my shop and spotted one checkout was pretty much clear an old lady was paying for her shop. So i rushed over giving everyone else evils who looked as though they may be on route to the same checkout. I got there… feeling victorious with a smile on my face I put all of my items on the conveyor and wait my turn.


The woman is looking for her receipt in her purse. She started to argue with the assistant saying he didn’t give it to her. The assistant reassured her that she had it. She continued to argue…

Tick Tock, Tick Tock…

The assistant explained that he had put two bottles of drink on the one receipt. The penny then dropped and the woman realised that she did have the receipt but she thought she should have two.

Great now I can pay for my shopping, Wohoo!!

Then the woman turned to her assistant (Who was some miffed Taxi man) and asked if he’d picked up the hand towels that were on offer. The Taxi man looks in confusion and she explained that she wanted some Velvet hand towels in white. Her assistant ran off to grab the hand towels. So once again I continued to wait…

Tick Tock, Tick Tock…

The man returned with no hand towels. So I thought my luck was in. He told the woman that there was none there. Would she leave without them? NO! “I saw them, Are you sure you looked properly?” she asked the guy on the till to call someone so they could take her assistant to go and have another look.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock…

Then she turned and said “Oh its Bounty, That’s what I wanted. Bounty” so her assistant laughed and made his way back to the isle with the hand towels. She then turned to the cashier and said “How much will that be then?” The cashier tried explaining about 4 times that he wouldn’t know until he had scanned the item.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock….

Her assistant returned with the hand towels and she passed them to the cashier. He scanned them “£5.38 please madam” she gave the man a £10 note. He started to put it through the till when the lady said “Wait!! I think I have the change” So she then spent a further 8 minutes ruffling through her purse.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock…

In the meantime the couple that had joined the cue behind me had had enough and moved to the till next to mine, been served and had left. PAR!! She counted out her pennies and then made her way out of the building.

All in all I think I was stood behind this woman for around 25minutes. 25 minutes of my life that will never ever be returned to me. Do you know how much stuff you can do in 25 minutes?